Becoming a Tech-Wise Family
If being wise with technology isn’t on your radar, you’re likely going to just go with the flow of culture and we know that is never good. It seems like every kid today has their own device and when I go out to eat with my family and look around, the majority of kids are watching a show on a phone. It can seem like an impossible task to win the war on technology but it is going to be worth it in the long run.
I spent 5 years as a youth pastor and I got to see first hand the destruction that technology can have on a generation. Kids have shorter and shorter attention spans, they are incapable of looking someone in the face and having a serious conversation. Crippling anxiety, an aversion to work, inability to be bored and come up with creative solutions, the list goes on. We are running a worldwide experiment on our children and it doesn’t seem to be going very well.
When looking for a resource to help me think well about this topic of technology, I ran into the book ‘Tech-Wise Family’ by Andy Crouch. This thing was packed full of great insights and challenges to the modern parent. Andy does a great job of bringing an ideal with a touch of reality. We can have goals and standards as a family but in reality sometimes we slip up. The book is filled with practical tips and suggestions that will help us protect and lead our families well in this area.
No technology before double digits
One of Andy’s suggestions is to not allow technology in your house before your kids turn ten. This gives plenty of space for your children to develop creativity and connect with each other and you as parents before the influence of entertainment takes over. This means that you wouldn’t have a tv or allow your kids to have any devices. For our family, we try to severely limit technology in our house. We didn’t have a tv in our house until about a year ago and it barely gets any use. We do Monday night movie nights during the winter but we have pretty much killed those this summer. We’d much rather be on walks or playing in the yard after dinner. We recently canceled our streaming services and bought a VHS player. We have 7 Beatrix Potter VHS’s that our kids can choose from and that is it. We have tried to make technology so boring that there is very little appeal.
Even with such strict rules on technology, I have noticed how it affects my children. I made the mistake of downloading a car game on my phone for a long road trip once and my kids still ask about it every time we go on a ride longer than 5 minutes. We played Smash Bros 64 while at our family ranch for a couple nights and my son still wakes up talking about it. The allure of technology is strong and we would do well to shield our children from it.
No technology before double digits (again)
The next suggestion is not to touch technology before 10am. This can be tough if you work with a computer but the point still applies. You could just say, no social media before 10am. The concept here is to allow yourself to wake up without the world flooding into your mind. Give your mind space to think and wander and plan for the day ahead before you plug in. This goes well with another of his suggestions to put your phone to bed before you, ideally in the kitchen. This is especially important for kids. KIDS SHOULD NOT SLEEP WITH THEIR PHONES. Nothing good happens after 10pm especially on your phone. If you teenager has a phone make sure it goes to bed with yours well before your bedtime.
Tech free spaces
Another thing that Andy Crouch suggests is creating tech-free spaces. One hour every day, one day a week and for a couple weeks a year, we should aim to be tech-free. Andy chose to use dinner time as the tech free space. This just means that no one brings their phone to the table and you actually enjoy real conversations. This is a huge opportunity for you to coach your team as a dad and provide vision and connection for your family. Technology is going to throw a wrench in that.
Then as much as you are able, pick a day a week to not have any technology. You might need to be on call for work or communicate with a friend but pick a day that your phone doesn’t live in your pocket. Andy chose Sunday as it fit well with his weekly Sabbath rhythm.
Taking a couple weeks off a year can seem crazy to some people but that just goes to show how much we’ve been inundated with technology. Pairing this with a vacation is the perfect opportunity to unplug and connect with our family. Set up an away message on your computer and don’t check it unless you absolutely must. The detox effect is real.
Conclusion
The goal of a tech-wise family is to create a family culture where connection and conversation come first. We want our children to learn how to connect with other humans and with the creation around them. We want to teach them to see and notice and experience life. Technology has a way of numbing us to the beauty around us. We want to teach our kids to be bored and to be free from the addiction to dopamine that leaves so many of us unable to enjoy life. Let’s be a group of dads who give our kids the very best in every area of life. This may seem tough but after a few weeks it will be the new normal. Kids will fight it for a minute but will thank you when they are grown. Our kids won’t fall behind in their understanding of technology. They will learn to entertain themselves on long car rides or during that hour before dinner. The couple hours of free-time we get might be appealing at first but it won’t be worth it in the long run.
