Some Reasons to Get Married Young

The 20s for many men are a decade of wandering and blundering. Going this way and that way, trying to find out what they want to do with their lives. Following whims and building up debt in college. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Your 20s can be a time of maturing and laying the foundation for the rest of your life. Here are a handful of things that I think men in their 20s should be working towards.

A Wife

‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing’ might be the most understated phrase of all time. “A good thing” doesn’t really do it justice. He who finds a good wife, will be much better off than a man who stays single. Here are some of the benefits of getting married and getting married young.

Companionship/commitment:
Having someone who sticks with you through thick and thin, is a major boost to your well-being. Having someone who depends on you also adds a level of responsibility and accountability that is important for young men. How is this different than cohabitating or just dating you may ask? There is something about making a covenant commitment to someone that adds a level of stability and connection. Making vows before God and man is an important act that has lost favor in the modern world. Our words make a difference and what we say creates realities. When we, in front of witnesses, commit to loving someone for our entire lives, we create a foundation sturdy enough to build our entire lives on. This sort of commitment and covenant is what men should seek to establish when the woman they are pursuing.

Make more money:
Studies have shown that men who get married make more money than men who stay single and men who stay married make more money than men who get divorced. There is some debate as to why this is the case; more motivation, learning valuable life skills or wives and employers look at the same desirable characteristics. Whatever the case, getting married helps men on their employment journey.

Children:
Marriage is the proper context for children. Children do much better with a sable family and home environment. Parents who are devoted to each other in marriage will have a much easier time establishing family values and training their children consistently. You can have children without being married but that is not the ideal.

Benefits of getting married young:
There are some extra benefits of getting married young that many people don’t talk about. Common knowledge says that you should wait to get established and mature a bit before you get married. That may have some benefits but I’m going to advocate for getting married young. Here are a couple reasons:

No engrained habits:
Getting married young allows you to get married before you’ve becoming accustomed to living alone and doing things your own way. You will be able to establish rhythms and habits with your wife instead of trying to merge two different lives together. Young people are more malleable and flexible in general. This doesn’t mean that you can do it if you are older, it will just be a bit more difficult.

Grow Together:
A sub-point to my previous point is that you’ll be able to help each other grow. You’ll shape each other into people that you enjoy being around. You get to figure stuff out together and go through formative experiences together. Getting married also helps men and women grow up much faster. The tension of living with and being committed to someone, forces us to confront our shortcomings and develop ourselves. This can obviously backfire if you become overly dependent but I think the benefits outweigh the risks.

Kids know their grandparents:
Another benefit of getting married (and having kids) young is that your children will have more time with your grandparents. If you hate your parents this won’t be very important to you but there is a lot to be learned from multi-generational relationships. If you do a simple chart, you can do the math about how long your children will know your parents. My parents are 65, I’m 35 and my oldest is 7. In about 20 years my parents will be nearing the end of their lives and my oldest will be 27 and my youngest will be 20. If I had waiting to have kids in my 30s, my oldest would be about 17 and my youngest 10 when my parents start to get to the end of their lives. If you want your kids to know your parents in a meaningful way, consider getting married and having kids young.

Getting married is one of the major milestones in a man’s life and it is one he should have his eyes set on. It is a good and worthy goal for a man to find an honorable and faithful wife but how does a boy become the kind of man who can attract a woman like that? We’ll talk about that in the next post.